Time to Post something
Blogging has taken a back burner in my mind and I have to admit as far as keeping up with news from friends I have found that Facebook is an easy way to find out what every one is up too, and to give a short and to the point fact of what is going on in my life also. Those of you who know me, know that I like short and to the point. So you could see how FB works great for me. Nonetheless I do feel somewhat compelled to give a more in depth explanation of our life and circumstances. I am not even sure any one reads this anymore since I don't post very often but here it goes anyway.
I am reluctant to share my heart with you simply because I don't want to sound like a complainer, but I wanted to give an idea of the inner struggle that it has been going on these past 7 mos. First of all I want to say that it has been a very hard, heart wrenching time not being in full time ministry. The Ministry is where our hearts are, but at this time God has placed us in this situation and it has been very hard to adjust to the fact that we have no idea where God is going to use us or at times I have to admit I have had doubts that He would even use us at all again in a full time manner. That is a hard pill to swallow when your heart is in serving the Lord. Now don't get me wrong, we are serving at Calvary Baptist in Roy but it is far different than having your own ministry. I kind of feel a little bit like the children of Israel must have felt in the desert waiting for the Lord to reveal where He was taking them. As humans we want an answer now, we don't like to wait but The Lord does not work that way. As a matter of fact He seems to like to wait to the very last minute, kind of like the song 4 days late.
Not only has this been a spiritual battle field for us but it has also been a real rough battle financially. Let me say that I would pick financial troubles over the troubles that many friends are going through, Loosing family members to death, praying that God would spare the life of your child, life threatening illnesses, having a spouse leave you after years of marriage, yes I know that there are far worse things than financial hardship.
Nonetheless these past 7 mos. have been the worse we have ever experienced financially. I am talking about times when we were not sure if we would have food to feed us, times when we didn't know if we were going to be homeless. Not to mention the times when you can't even buy new socks let alone new clothes. Times when you don't know if your kids can go to a youth activity because it cost $10, $5 or even the $3 dollars. Times when you don't want to be asked to go to anything cuz you don't want to admit that you can't afford it. Then you have the society that we live in and the judges that seem to think that if you had your head screwed on straight you wouldn't have had so many children and then you could take care of the ones you should've had. Times when you can't rent something in your budget because there is nothing to rent that is "in your budget" because you have more people in your family than they will allow to live in their home. Knowing that if you talk to friends and family about your problems then it puts pressure on them to try to help, so you try not to say anything to anyone. That is hard. We all like to have some one to talk too!
Then there has been the new life that is growing in me, and yes our hearts are thrilled to welcome a new member into our family! However, this has been one of my worse pregnancies as far as feeling sick all the time, Thankfully it seems to be over now that I have moved into my 2nd trimester. I have to admit the thoughts of what others may be thinking seems to haunt my mind these days, I am usually one that does not care what others think if I know I am doing the right thing but given the wringer that I feel like I have been through emotionally and the raging hormones everything seems to come to my mind these days.
I want to say that in ALL those times God has stepped in and He has proven that He will always provide Our needs according to His riches, was it easy to go through, no. As fleshly beings we get our eyes off the Lord and onto our problems and as the children of Israel we forget all too easy the Mighty things that The Lord has done. Oh how wonderful Heaven will be!
With all that said, I PTL that things seem to be moving to a better more positive outlook! So if you think about us, keep us in your Prayers and we will do the same for you!
God Bless as He always does!
I am reluctant to share my heart with you simply because I don't want to sound like a complainer, but I wanted to give an idea of the inner struggle that it has been going on these past 7 mos. First of all I want to say that it has been a very hard, heart wrenching time not being in full time ministry. The Ministry is where our hearts are, but at this time God has placed us in this situation and it has been very hard to adjust to the fact that we have no idea where God is going to use us or at times I have to admit I have had doubts that He would even use us at all again in a full time manner. That is a hard pill to swallow when your heart is in serving the Lord. Now don't get me wrong, we are serving at Calvary Baptist in Roy but it is far different than having your own ministry. I kind of feel a little bit like the children of Israel must have felt in the desert waiting for the Lord to reveal where He was taking them. As humans we want an answer now, we don't like to wait but The Lord does not work that way. As a matter of fact He seems to like to wait to the very last minute, kind of like the song 4 days late.
Not only has this been a spiritual battle field for us but it has also been a real rough battle financially. Let me say that I would pick financial troubles over the troubles that many friends are going through, Loosing family members to death, praying that God would spare the life of your child, life threatening illnesses, having a spouse leave you after years of marriage, yes I know that there are far worse things than financial hardship.
Nonetheless these past 7 mos. have been the worse we have ever experienced financially. I am talking about times when we were not sure if we would have food to feed us, times when we didn't know if we were going to be homeless. Not to mention the times when you can't even buy new socks let alone new clothes. Times when you don't know if your kids can go to a youth activity because it cost $10, $5 or even the $3 dollars. Times when you don't want to be asked to go to anything cuz you don't want to admit that you can't afford it. Then you have the society that we live in and the judges that seem to think that if you had your head screwed on straight you wouldn't have had so many children and then you could take care of the ones you should've had. Times when you can't rent something in your budget because there is nothing to rent that is "in your budget" because you have more people in your family than they will allow to live in their home. Knowing that if you talk to friends and family about your problems then it puts pressure on them to try to help, so you try not to say anything to anyone. That is hard. We all like to have some one to talk too!
Then there has been the new life that is growing in me, and yes our hearts are thrilled to welcome a new member into our family! However, this has been one of my worse pregnancies as far as feeling sick all the time, Thankfully it seems to be over now that I have moved into my 2nd trimester. I have to admit the thoughts of what others may be thinking seems to haunt my mind these days, I am usually one that does not care what others think if I know I am doing the right thing but given the wringer that I feel like I have been through emotionally and the raging hormones everything seems to come to my mind these days.
I want to say that in ALL those times God has stepped in and He has proven that He will always provide Our needs according to His riches, was it easy to go through, no. As fleshly beings we get our eyes off the Lord and onto our problems and as the children of Israel we forget all too easy the Mighty things that The Lord has done. Oh how wonderful Heaven will be!
With all that said, I PTL that things seem to be moving to a better more positive outlook! So if you think about us, keep us in your Prayers and we will do the same for you!
God Bless as He always does!
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