An apology

I owe an apology to some of you and decided to make it public since I really am not sure how many of you I said something too.

Let me start by saying that as a teen ager, I surrendered my life to the Lord. But as the saying goes, the problem with a living sacrifice is that they keep getting off that Alter of Sacrifice. :0) It may seem completely foreign to some of you that as I began having children, I naturally assumed that it would be fine with God if I had 6 children. That was what "I" always wanted, Jon of course was fine with that too :o) But I heard a friend say something to me that honestly I had never heard someone say at that time in my life, I was in my 20's and She said this, " We plan to have as many children as God wants to give us" after I fainted and came back to breathing, like some of you, I began to ponder on what she said and as I pondered thoughts came to my mind. Did I really surrender "my All" to God or was it ok to tell God that he was off limits to that part of my life. It wasn't an audible voice but it may as well have been because I knew in my heart that my womb belonged to God just as much as my heart belonged to Him. The bible tells us that in Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Believe me I am sure many have a way out of having however many children that God wants to give them, but I don't, because I know what God has put on my heart to do. I recently heard someone say that "the Devil is not going to lay something on your heart to do that is right so don't play games with your mind and try to explain away what God has put on your heart" And that is exactly what I have been doing, after all we have 10 kids and shouldn't that be enough. I could always listen to all the advice I get from strangers and even good christians that tell me "I should be done" or " Do the responsible thing" or "If you can't provide everything that society thinks kids should have then you should not be having kids"

The fact of the matter is that through the still small voice of The Holy Spirit, I need to realize that as it says in Isaiah 55: 8For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

I in my human mind don't really know why God asks some of us to do certain things, but I do know that as his child though I may not understand, I am still suppose to Obey. And that brings me to my apology, I told many of you that we were done having children and we planned to make it a permanent thing but God will not allow me to do that and has shown me how foolish it is of me not to trust him when I can trust him with my soul but can't trust Him with my life or let alone my children's life. He has blessed us with wonderful children and honestly if I had had "my way" I would have missed out on some wonderful little blessings that are growing up in a home that is teaching them to live their life for God and will have the privilege of accepting Him and living eternally in Heaven. It is a big responsibility that I don't take lightly, I not only need to have the children that God wants to give me but I need to raise them to Live for Him as well. Is it easy? No way! But there are many things that other Christians are asked to do that are much harder than what I have to ever go through! And just so that you know, God can still provide our "needs" in this economy, we just get confused sometimes at what our "needs" really are.


So please forgive me! Not for having 10 children but for not wanting more.


Let me just say that obviously Jon and I are partners in this and though I keep saying "I" it has to be "We" but "I" was just sharing my heart and how God has dealt with "me".:0)

This was also posted on my facebook page














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